I am a college student and I am 22. In recent year I have lost my father and that was the very moment I realized that this life that I was living was all provided by my father it was all him. My very existence and identity have been ripped apart, now I am nothing but a shell trying to find out what I can do for my family and what can i provide for them.
All the people in my life started to disappear it was like I never existed to them and I couldn’t understand all the friends I had the family the uncles and other people all of them were gone by the moment I understood all these things I was alone with my mother and brother and I can’t do anything for them I can’t provide to my family my existence seems useless to me.
Right now I live in a college hostel and despite being around a lot of people I always find myself alone sitting in the room or the classes in that very same class that once was filled with a lot of friends the very last year and now I am alone. I can’t talk to others about this cause I think what is the need for telling to someone who does not know the feeling that I am feeling right now?
I don’t know why I am telling this here be perhaps that I want to make my heart lighter to tell it to someone but maybe I am also seeking some advice and help from you all.
Thanks for listening to me, have a good day.
